Okay am i being controlling or is he?

okay well i know my hubby wants to save money right now that he is deployed... well we were planning on saving to buy a house and I was talking to him on the phone last night and now he is saying that we are going to use the money we have saved up so he wont have to work for about 2 years! Okay I know he wants to go back to school but we have two kids! I am currently going to school for medical assisting but come on Im not going to make too much money! And about a month ago I told him I was considering joining the air force ( I WAS NOT 100% SURE!!) and now he is pressuring me to do it! Not only that he limits me with money really bad! he gives me 1800.00 a month okay ive gonna tell you what i pay for each month ok: truck 400, rent 450, phone/ internet/cable 100, electricity and water 100, auto insurance 90, his credit card 80, grocieries 150, and i use 400 of gas a month ( i drive too much back and forth from the babysitters to school to back home during the week. and what ever is left over is for diapers for both my kids. I tell him that I need more money so i can buy the kids clothes or get an oil change and says he%26#039;ll give it to me but he%26#039;s going to take it out of my next month! He also gets mad cause I hardly send him care packages, but its not like I dont want to cause I do its just that I dont even have enough money to do it! I cant even take my son to McDonalds cause I wont hear the end of it about how I dont need to be eating out and all that! And I cant get a job because I go to school from 12-5 so there is no way... He is always telling me how I control him, but I dont see how he thinks that I control him? and another thing is that he gets an allotment to his own bank acct and he spends money like crazy like the first month he was over there he bought a $1000 laptop! and I couldnt buy me a pair of scrubs for school!!! then a few months ago he wanted a fridge for his room over there, that is something he doesnt need. And he doesnt even want to pay off my credit cards. I owe about 6,000 on them and thats because he made me stop paying them when he went active army ( he told me to quit my job and that I didnt have to work because i was pregnant and he wanted me to stay home and raise my kids) and he has paid a few of his... I dont know what to do anymore... I cant even go out to eat with my friends or anything! what should I do!

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

okay, the point of saving up money is not to NOT WORK! he is totally wrong about that.

it sounds like he does not know how much you are going through and how much things actually cost. he is in the wrong and something needs to change. no one should have to worry about one happy meal or a night out with friends. you are trying to better yourself and he needs to work.

this all needs to be talked out, money issues cause divorce. i am curious how much he is keeping for himself.

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

Too long - he%26#039;s right by default.

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

You are being selfish. You are going to school he should be able to too.

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

I think when he returns, you two might consider marriage counseling, the distance might be creating the strain for both of you.

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

Both sound a bit immature and childish. He is treating you like a child on an allowance. You need some martial counseling which should be available to military spouses. This is a serious difference in opinion on lots of things.

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

Make a unilateral decision to go get a job! Just a part time thing, take care of the fun things in life. You pay for babysitting and gas used for this job and %26quot;you%26quot; get to decide what to spend %26quot;your%26quot; money on!

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

He is the one being a control freak. I%26#039;d say buy your kids what they need and what you need for school and then tell him about it. Tell him your tired of being strapped down and it%26#039;s not going to work out if he doesn%26#039;t let up some. Hope it all works out for you, take care!

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

you both are trying to control each other. tell him how you feel sit talk it out, he wants to go to school that%26#039;s fair

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

I think he%26#039;s acting like a jerk. Yes, you need to be prudent in your spending, but so does he. Just because he is the primary breadwinner doesn%26#039;t mean he gets to make all the decisions about how the money is spent. But give your head a shake, hon... %26quot;And he doesn%26#039;t even want to pay off my credit cards... He made me stop paying them...%26quot; What? Tell us exactly how he %26quot;made you%26quot; stop paying your bills... You both need credit and marital counselling...

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

he%26#039;s the controlling one

have you contacted your electric company about bieng put on a budget plan? i%26#039;m on one for my gas and my electric if i didnt have a gas hotwater tank i%26#039;d just get the gas shut off in the summer and only use it n the winter BUT i can%26#039;t do that :-( since i%26#039;ve been on a budget plan(and u don%26#039;t have to b poor or on government assistance to do it or at least no here anyway) my electric is only 36 bucks a month instead of a hundread bucks or more and my gas is only 86 bucks a month instead of 200 bucks a month

you couldnt get a job from like say 6 or 7 am to like 11 am (part time) or a part time job in the evening after classes?

and if he%26#039;s pushing u to join the service who does he expect to take care of your kids? You obvisouly couldnt do it if ur over seas and they%26#039;re not

but ur in no way controlling but him on the other hand he should get it tattooed on to his forhead because its quit clear he is the controlling type. and it%26#039;s really sad

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

Yes it sounds like he%26#039;s being controlling and stingy. If I were you I%26#039;d take some control back, and stay in school. Or if you have to get a part time job and cut your classes to par time, you need to open yourself a savings acct. Online accounts are great and they pay high rates like 5% check out Capital One, you use your checking to transfer money to them. Either way start putting money back and protect yourself. If he came home today and said I want a divorce, what would you do. Hope for the best but always plan for the worst.

At the very least you need to have your own money.

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

Sounds as though he is very controlling. I am with the person who suggested some marriage counseling when he returns. I would also suggest financial counseling.

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

I do think he is in the wrong..... he shouldnt be spending the money while ur saving an he isnt. he is controlling you. The kids come before both of you, whats best for the kids, no clothes on there backs and not fed?

deep down i really do think u will get sick of him, just look out for the kids

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

While he is deployed is not the time for such decision making. Curently he is under major pressure and I am sure that all he wants is a little r %26amp; r (As I am sure you are stressed as well) Wait until he gets home and has a little time off. (a couple weeks not years) and see if his mind changes. Thank go from there. Although you are in school, caring for kids etc. which is not easy (I am the mother of three) He would rather be home helping than were he is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

I%26#039;m not sure what your problem here is but I have a BIG BIG problem with HIM being deployed and you wanting to go into the service too BECAUSE YOU HAVE CHILDREN....what in the HELL do you think having BOTH parents gone will do to those kids...... are you THINKING at all here? you want to go into the service then wait till HE COMES HOME so there will be at least ONE PARENT home to raise YOUR KIDS....how selfish of you to want to leave them PARENTLESS... I don%26#039;t care WHAT family member is there to take care of them---they need their MOM or their DAD.... not an aunt, uncle or grandparent. And you SHOULDN%26#039;T take your kids to MacDonalds---it%26#039;s all GARBAGE FOOD ANYWAY....and as far as going out to eat with your FRIENDS????? what about YOUR CHILDREN!!!!! you seem to only care about what YOU want.... and he HIM.... you have CHILDREN to consider here ....I went NO WHERE for 18 YEARS because I worked, took care of my son and had NO LIFE for myself until he was 18----that%26#039;s the way it SHOULD be---your children should come FIRST!!!!!!!!! Now wise up----tell Mr. Tightwad that bills HAVE TO BE PAID and he doesn%26#039;t NEED $1000 a MONTH over there to spend --he%26#039;s in a WAR after all.... all he NEEDS are essentials---you two best grow up and start getting the priorities straight... BILLS, KIDS, FOOD, then fun things and ONLY if you can afford them.!!

Okay am i being controlling or is he?

Take advantage of the free counseling that the two of you can get through him being in the military. You can go. Also, I know that you can get into a class on base about budgeting, etc. that may help out, too.