What is he doing?

My husband has been taking care of the bills and we have a great credit rating just a lot of debt. On our last home, we refinanced to get a better rate and pay off some debt. We still have debt. We did this at least 2 times in this home and broke even when we moved--no equity after 10 years. We still have the debt.

My husband refinanced our three vehicles to where they have zero equity. They were almost paid off.

We moved to a new home and after two years refinanced and received 36,000 to pay some of this debt. Now we still have the debt. And the equity, from the value of the home going up in price, is gone.

Where do you think this money is going if we are still in debt and no better off than before refinancing? We%26#039;re talking ten years of equity on the first home, all three car equities, and now our new home%26#039;s equity. Big money. I am at a loss for words. When I ask him, he says he put it on the bills we owe.

We have been fighting a lot.

What is he doing?

You need to take a close look at your husband because that%26#039;s a lot of money and it%26#039;s got to be going somewhere. Here are three suggestions that top the list, but you know him better that I do: drugs, gambling or another woman.

You need to take control of the household expenses - insist on it. He won%26#039;t complain if he has nothing to hide. You need access to all bank accounts and other financial items. He%26#039;s hiding something and it%26#039;s time you found out what. Good luck.

ADDITIONAL: You need to start digging yourself. Look in every nook and cranny of the house for financial statements. There has to be a paper trail somewhere. Also, check your computer - see what websites he might be going to, or who he%26#039;s e-mailing. You also didn%26#039;t mention if you work or not. But if you do - go out and get bank accounts in your name only and have your paycheck sent there. At least you will know where that money is and where it%26#039;s going. And what I probably should have said in my first message is that you may need to talk with a lawyer. You need to find out what your rights in this situation and let him/her help you protect yourself. He/she may also have suggestions for you to get the bottom of the situation.

What is he doing?

time for marriage counseling.

debt and money fights are the #1 reason people get divorced... you BOTH need to make the money decisions... not just one person. agree on things first. all money decisions.

if you had a written budget and a plan, you would know what money is going where.

the reason you have a good credit rating is because you have debt.

you need to tell your money what to do, or it leaves and you have no idea where it went.

What is he doing?

The bottom line is that the two of you have not made a commitment to spend less than you earn and get out of debt. Refinancing and consolidation won%26#039;t work unless you get a plan and work together. Instead of hounding your husband about the finances, try going to a professional financial advisor. That way, the advice is coming from a neutral, 3rd party. For a referral, go to daveramsey.com.