How should I handle my selfish Spouse?

I am always willing to do everything in my power to help my spouse finanicially but, he will not do that for me. For example, when he%26#039;s short on money paying our bills or his bills. I always pick up the slack,which I don%26#039;t have a problem with at all! I%26#039;ve even put my credit on the line for my spouse and he%26#039;s left me with bills to pay on my own. Eventually, I had to file for bankruptcy! But when it comes to me! It%26#039;s always an excuse or he tells me he just doesn%26#039;t have any money to spare for me. But he doesn%26#039;t make that excuse when it comes to his mother or his siblings. It%26#039;s like I always come last. I suggested that he gets another job part-time to pay his bills. All I got was%26quot;Why should I get another job when I already got one?%26quot; %26quot;I%26#039;m not going to get another job when I already worked hard for 8 hours already!%26quot; I%26#039;ve considered just leaving, but I have the kids to consider. I work and go to school and take care of a household. I don%26#039;t feel like my spouse cares me. I feel like a used ATM.

How should I handle my selfish Spouse?

In most marriages it technically is the man%26#039;s responsibility to take care of the family. If he is unwilling to do this then it might be better for you to get your own place. That however does not give you the license to cheat or have boyfriends anymore than it allows him to.

Does he pay the electric, water, rent/housepayment, gas and gas and insurance for the car? Does he buy the food?

If he does these things then any other bill is not necessary.

If you have had to file bankruptcy because of bills other than house bills then something is wrong with both of you.

I find it difficult to see that either of you were thinking clearly when it came to pay for things or buy things so they do not have to go on credit.

I would not have a problem contributing to the house but I would have a problem if he made for example 1000 dollars a month and our bills are only 350 dollars and he is unable to pay for the bills. Where is the money going? Why are you all so over extended? Is it just his siblings and mother?

How should I handle my selfish Spouse?

you should honestly contact the local mental health center in your area for some counseling they can give you the good advise you deserve!!

How should I handle my selfish Spouse?

We need to get together and form a club or something.

That said, in yet another relationship of mine - my (ex) husband and I went through the same thing and I noticed I had even more money to spare then when I was with him. A marriage is a partnership... 50/50. That dosent just apply to finances, but also giving a chit about things in a relationship too. Personally, I started stashing money in a seperate account... which is a good idea for the future if leaving ever comes up again. Seperating bills like cell phones and other items might not be a bad idea to get your point across as well as protect your own credit as best you can for now.

How should I handle my selfish Spouse?

Sit down and have a serious talk with him and ask him to help you,if he decide not to help you leave him.

How should I handle my selfish Spouse?

well i got 3 things 1 go to him in the morning make a pot of Coffey then start talking about your problem 2 when you both settled on the problem start telling him how st rest out you are and how your mar rage is going the Ring way 3 AND say if you love me fix this problem with me together

How should I handle my selfish Spouse?

Maybe he will come to the same conclusion when its his credit going on the line for his own bills since you aren%26#039;t going to give him any more money, right?

How should I handle my selfish Spouse?

Close the ATM to him. Don%26#039;t pay any of his bills, stop it right now. Start saving your money, you need it more.

Only you can decide whether you kick him out or not and whether it is worth saving your marriage, but don%26#039;t let him continue to use you only for your money.

How should I handle my selfish Spouse?

So take your kids and leave. Think of it this way: Your life should be easier without him, as you will have one less mouth to feed.

How should I handle my selfish Spouse?

Have you tried the stragegy of just not helping your spouse financially? You are inviting trouble by always giving and doing that in spite of the fact that the favor is not returned. But it doesn%26#039;t have to be a deal-breaker in your marriage. You two have to sit down and decide on a budget. Put money equally every month in a house account and you are responsible for paying the bills. If you can%26#039;t pay the bills because he%26#039;s not putting his share in, then the car insurance is not paid and the electricity goes and the mortgage doesn%26#039;t get paid. Then move out, get your own car, pay your own bills and live a fiscally responsible life separate from your husband. Make that clear. Make it clear that this means divorce - not just him getting a free ride to be a big spender on his own time. It means divorce and more bills. You%26#039;re not going to be shouldering all the responsibility - make it clear that if he tries to force that, you will walk and you will take the kids with you. In return, you guarantee that with his equal contribution, all the bills are paid and life proceeds smoothly.

You might work some kind of savings and retirement plan into that budget while you%26#039;re at it. You don%26#039;t want him crying %26#039;poor%26#039; when you two are old enough to retire.

After all the money is contributed equally (it should cover all your bills, including clothing, gifts and groceries, etc.) his money is his and your money is yours. Then if he wants to give money to his mother or his siblings, he can but it comes out of %26#039;his pocket%26#039; and that leaves less for him. Maybe then he will think about another part-time job because he will want more spending money for himself.

As for you, guard your money wisely and spend it wisely on yourself. Don%26#039;t gift him with money - it only makes things worse. And don%26#039;t ever %26#039;loan%26#039; him money.